Hey Helga
by SuprSingr
Summary: Helga here. Just read you bozos!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey all!**

**I was struck with this story at... Let's see... 5:43 am on a Friday. I know, I know, 14 year old up really late... and on a SCHOOL DAY! *Gasp* Well, I've been stayin up pretty late lately. I can't really help it. I'm just not tired, I guess. Or maybe it's just my teenage rebellion choosing to purposely ignore my mom's pleas to go to sleep so I can function properly in the morning. Either way, I've really gotta write this. It's just a little one-shot. Enjoy. Oh and, The Hey Arnold Movie never happened here. Read on, young jedi.**

**Disclaimer: Hey Arnold! is not nor will ever _be_ mine! *Sniffle***

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****Hey Helga**

**One-Shot**

Hiya! Guess who! I'll give you a hint, it starts with a 'Hel' and ends in a 'ga'. I know what you're probably thinking right now... "Oh no! It's Helga Pataki! The ugly little unibrowed girl from PS118! Head for the HILLS!" Well listen up, bucko! I am NOT the same little, unibrowed bully from PS118's forth grade class! A lot has happened since then... Oh I forgot... You were too busy on here writing some ridiculous alternate reality stories on my life! Well, guess what! You're all CRAZY! You wanna know how my life really went down? Well Fine... I'll tell you. And listen good because I am NOT repeating this!

Well, around the fifth grade, my "oerfect" sister, Olga actually ran off and got married. He was nice enough. Nothing like her previous fiancee', I'll tell you right now. The wedding was good. I was the flower girl, much to my distaste. But I paid my sister back for stuffing me in that ruffled excuse of a dress and ran-sacked the buffet! It was great! They all came into the dining the hall for the ceremony or whatever and found "All the food gone! OH NO!" Olga bawled for a while... that is until her new hubby came back with Chinese food! I ran-sacked that too. I just love me! Afterward I bragged about the whole thing to Phoebe, and Arnold overheard and just _had _to give me one of his moral "That was wrong!" speeches and make me feel all guilty!

So I ended up coming clean. Grrrrrrrrr... That still bugs me sometimes. But I "did the right thing", so who really cares?! Olga apparently did. She apologized for making me resent her so badly... alright, alright! And I apologized for my misbehavior at her wedding. We actually came to some sort of understanding. I know it sounds crazy, but I actually... like her now. That still bugs me sometimes too.

Anyway, Olga ended up moving to Africa with her husband. Big Bob certainly resented her for the whole thing. Her husband, unlike her almost-husband from a while back, was truthful, and he didn't like any of the stuff Bob liked. Sports, beepers, and soap-operas. So once Olga was gone, he needed a replacement. And who do you think had to replace her? Me? DING DING DING! You are the lucky winner! What do you get? A pat on the back and a congratulatory handshake from Ronnie Mathews. The prize wasn't what you expected was it? Well... that's how it was with me and Bob. I always thought I wanted what Olga had. But what Olga had wasn't exactly what I had anticipated. She did have love... but it wasn't the type of love I wanted from my parents. It was love for what I got them: Recognition, Beeper sales, and pride. I didn't want that. And I know Olga didn't either. I think she was just kinda... pretending it was the kind of love she wanted and needed. Either that or she never knew what real love was.

I, on the other hand, have experienced love before. Or at least I've experienced what it's like to have someone who genuinely cares about you. I don't think Olga ever had that. Pfft, and here I was angry at her for years for "stealing" my parents' love away from me! Ridiculous! What a joke! What a crock! Some love. Humph!

So yeah... I was basically forced to become Olga. I was showered with attention! Not the type of attention I wanted, I might add, but that's what happened. And you wanna know what I did? Something I'm sure Olga would have LOVED to do! I told them off! I screamed, I shouted, I completely blew my top! I told them everything from "You're the most unattentive parents EVER!" to "What kind of 'love' is it when you don't even 'love' the person, but love what the person _gives _you! YOU SUCK!" to "GO DIE YOU WORTHLESS EXCUSES FOR PARENTS!". It was kinda insane. I couldn't help it! I was mad! No. Mad is an understatement. I was practically blinded by red I was so furious! Eight years worth of angst all just came pouring from my mouth! They just stood there. Utterly speachless. It only made me angrier! Once I was finished and felt I had made my point. I ran up stairs to punch holes in my walls and tear my pillow to shreds.

Needless to say, it was kinda like a wake-up call for them. After that, Mirriam started going religiously to AA meetings and Bob... well... This still has me laughing to this day! Big Bad Bob went off to get therapy! WHOO! That was great! But, although I still find the whole situation HILARIOUS, it really helped. Bob became a lot nicer and, get this, Mirriam started packing my lunch RIGHT! It was all pretty overwhelming. So after that, I guess you could say it helped me too. I actually felt loved! I felt like I had a reason, other than Arnold, to live! It was crazy! I loved it! I had always loved my parents, what I hated was that I was SURE they hated me. Boy, they certainly proved me wrong. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I could breath.

So yeah, I guess you could say I mellowed out a lot. No, mellow isn't the right word. I was still feisty as ever, but I didn't treat people like dog-doo anymore just for giving a crap about me. I started letting people in. I was showing people the person under the bully. Weird as it sounds... people actually started liking me. One more in particular. Who you may ask? Arnold!DOI!

After that, I guess you could say we became pretty close friends. Arnold was constantly telling me how happy he was I stopped with the spit-balls. And everytime he mentioned it, I threatened to start it back up again. I was just joking of course, and he always laughed. How I love him.

But that wasn't the only thing that changed about me. Let's just say, puberty was _very _friendly to me. I got decent sized breasts, they seemed to be enough to please most guys, and curves and hips and all that other nice stuff. I got rid of the unibrow in the seventh grade. It didn't bother me. I had planned to rid of the stupid thing as soon as I hit twelve. So I killed her! Replaced it with two, perfectly arched, _thin _eyebrows. I let my hair loose around in the eigth grade. I still wore it in pig-tails occasionally. But not always. I wanted to try and keep it fresh. Keep em' guessin'! I had gotten braces in the fifth grade, and had gotten rid of them in eigth also. So here I was! Puberty was still doing it's magic throughout ninth grade. So by the tenth you wouldn't even recognize me! My overbite was repressed a LOT thanks to those stupid braces and the unibrow was, of course, gone! I had some pretty crazy curves! In a good way... at least I guess it was a good way, considering how all those chuckle-headed boys were always gawking at me.

I started getting a lot of attention from the boys. By this time, Arnold and I were like best friends. I still loved him of course. But I kept it hidden pretty good. For some reason, the fact that I was getting asked out left and right seemed to bother him. Everytime a cute boy came up to me, he'd drag me off with the excuse, "We're gonna be late for class." or something. I didn't understand it at the time. I guess you could say I had faced facts that Arnold and I getting together was highly unlikely. So I forced myself to look at other guys. I found it in my heart to get one tiny crush on a boy in the tenth grade. He was so sweet and moral and good. He kinda reminded me of Arnold. Which is why I was so attracted to him of course. Arnold noticed my sudden interest in him and seemed kinda on edge about the whole thing. Evertime I went off on a tiny monologue (Not nearly as passionate or intense as my one's for Arnold) in front of him, he'd scoff at me and instantly come up with something that wasn't great about him. I didn't understand it.

Eventually, my little crush, came and asked me out. Arnold looked really angry for some reason. I said yes and Arnold pulled me into a deserted class room and asked me if I was sure I wanted to go out with him. I assured him that I really did, and I could see Arnold's eye twitch at my response. So once I was on my date, we had gone to the bowling alley, Arnold was there just "innocently" out of a coincidence. I didn't buy that one bit, he had been acting really weird lately and I was gonna get to the bottom of it. So I asked him, ever-so politely if he'd please come and get some snacks with me, and he agreed obliviously. Dense little fool...

I pulled him over to the food area and shoved him against a wall. I questioned his actions like crazy. He kept coming up with some of the lamest excuses I've ever heard in my life! He was never a good liar. So then he finally cracked, I like to call that day "the day Arnold finally fell off the rocker". He looked at me, with this strange gleam in his eyes and asked me if I really wanted to know the truth, I said yes, doi! And then he grabbed me and started making out with me like crazy! He felt up my whole body, whether I liked it or not, and I did like it... I LOVED it, in fact. I was a little afraid at the whole thing, he was on the verge of throwing me onto the ground and ravishing me! I could feel it. So I was able to get him into the nearest closet.

I was right! He really was on the verge of ravishing me, I know because as soon as I got us into the sanctity of the closet, he practically ripped off my clothes and started kissing my neck feverishly. It was pretty crazy, looking back on it. I'd rather not go too into detail of what happened next, but needless to say... Neither of us were virgins after that night. One of his moany crys was something along the lines of, "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HELGA! PLEASE BE MINE!" I had to laugh at that. He was doing 'it' to me and he was asking me to be his. Crazy ol' Football Head. I told him I loved him too and spouted out some snappy comment about how we were currently in a closet with him practically attacking me with his lips, I was already HIS! He just made out with me some more. My date figured I'd ditched him and was gone by the time we got out. I didn't care.

I demanded a better explanation of everything and he explained to me how he had realized he was in love with me shortly after we became friends. That certainly explained everything. So we got together. A very committed and loving relationship. We laid wake some nights at his house ON HIS COUCH WATCHING MOVIES... perverts... were he'd just tell me over and over again how much he loved me. I loved him too of course. I really did, and I could tell he really did too. We were kinda made for eachother. Perfect for eachother in every way.

So after High School, we actually decided on the same college. Which was simply brilliant! Shortly after college, he proposed. Yeah... The wedding was gorgeous. We had it on the beach. It was simple. Only close friends and relatives. So that leads me to where I am tonight. Laying in my beloved's arms on our honeymoon. He's asleep, the angel. I woke up and felt I should set you all straight. Uh oh, he's waking up. Great... he's gonna wanna read this now. He always does. No, he's just watching me type. He he he. Now he's tickling me! Hold on... I need to put him in his place.

Okay, I'm back. I'm panting... and not from the tickle fight. Why then? NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX! Figure it out, Sherlock! As for now... I'm going to return to heaven... in Arnold's warm embrace. Yeah, this is the life... this is MY life. Goodnight.

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**A/N: You like it? I hope so. Now I'm tired and hafta go to school. *Sigh* Maybe I _should_ have slept. Oh well.  
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**REVIEW!**


	2. Author's Suggestion: PLEASE READ!

**Hey Helga Sequal Suggestion:**

**Hey all,**

**I've been seriously considering doing a sorta sequal to this one-shot and having Arnold tell you how his life went down and how he fell for Helga and such... but I'm not sure. What do you all think? Should I go for it? Or should I leave it at this? Please tell me what you think. **

**_-SuprSingr_**


	3. Hey Helga Sequel: Hey Arnold

**A/N: YAY! Okay, all I needed was ONE person to tell me to write a sequal and I would have... but I believe I got two or three... soooooooooo... HERE IT IS! It's all in Arnold's perspective this time, and all in how Arnold's life went down. **

**=D Enjoy my beloved readers...**

**Disclaimer: Hey Arnold! doesn't belong to me! Wow, isn't it just oh-so amazing that an old 90's cartoon doesn't belong to a freakin' fourteen year old chick!? I just LOVE sarcasm.**

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Hey Helga One-Shot Sequel:**

**Hey Arnold**

Hey, it's none other than me, Arnold. Or as Helga likes... excuse me... LOVES to call me on a regular basis, Mr. Goody-two shoes. She seems to have a lot of nicknames for me... Yutz, Paste-for-brains, Hair-Boy, Head-boy, and of course, her very favorite... Football Head. I'd _love_to tell you I grew out of it and am now a regular, normal head-shaped guy... but unfortunately I have no such privilege. Yup, my funny looking "Football Head" never left me. In fact, now that I really think about it... a lot of things about me stayed the same. Don't get me wrong, I've gone through many changes in my life since the fourth grade.

One of the most dramatic ones was back in the fifth grade. I had just been coming home from my first day of being an official fifth grader... and... Ah, after all these years, it still gives me overwhelming joy to tell this story... When I got back home, the house was pretty quiet. I called out my grandparents names, but they didn't answer. I figured they must have gone to take a nap. They were up pretty late the night before. Grandma had been jumping from roof to roof dressed in a mask and a cape, and Grandpa had to go out and get her because all the neighbors were complainingg about her yelling that she was Chimp-Chimp, Monkeyman's sidekick in crime, most of the night... Don't ask.

I had entered my living room and **_MY PARENTS_** were actually sitting on the couch _**ASLEEP**_! They looked a bit different from the picture I kept stashed in my room. They had much darker tans and their hair was a lot longer. I could see some tiny gray hairs starting to overcome their heads. But, seriously, am I supposed to care about what they looked like?! NO! As soon as I saw them, I just stopped in the doorway and pinched myself like twenty times... What? I had to make sure it was real. This was one of my biggest dreams coming true. That doesn't happen everyday! So finally after thoroughly giving myself an extremely irritated and red side, I finally built up the courage to go touch them. They were still sound asleep. I figured they must be really tuckered out from all their adventures and being away from me for so long. Anyway, once I made it to where they were, I just lightly touched the shoulder of my supposed dad. He must've been a really light sleeper, because that actually woke him.

He started moving, and I panicked. I ducked down. I don't know why though. Was I afraid of him? Was I afraid of them? No, I think I may have been afraid that they would just turn out to be people who just LOOKED like my parents. And if they were just look-alikes, then what in blue-blazes were they doing in my home?

He started looking around, probably trying to find whoever woke him... me. I actually started shaking, it seemed too much like a dream. Finally, he looked over behind the couch and found me there in the fetal position, shaking and on the verge of tears. As soon as he saw me, he gasped. I heard him. I also started to hear shaking, I guessed he was waking my mom. It took a little longer to wake her up than it did him. When the shaking got a little rougher, I started to doubt my assurance of his actions a bit, so I peaked over the couch to see what he was doing. I got to witness, first-hand, my mom opening her eyes, seeing my dad, and whacking him upside the head for waking her. That didn't help my growing hysterics. I started shaking harder. My dad said something to her, by now I can't remember what, but he said something and pointed to me, which in turn made me duck down again. I heard another gasp, so I ducked lower.

I had my head buried in my knees, so I didn't see my mom come around the couch and look at me. I felt something touch my head, so I looked up, and there she was. My mom was patting my head. I gulped and sat up, looking down. I couldn't bare to look at her. I still couldn't believe it was happening. Then I felt her rubbing my head, her fingers running through my, sadly STILL, messy hair. I looked up again, and I could see it in her eyes, she was real! As soon as I made the realization that this was reality, I jumped up and grabbed her in a tight hug. The tears were running down my face by this point. I felt something wet on my head, and that's when I realized I wasn't the only one crying. I looked up and sure enough, my mom had tears running down her face, and a small smile. I could tell it had been just as painful for her to not see me for so long. My dad came and tackled us both in a big bear hug . And it was then my grandparents came downstairs and saw us all hugging. They immediately came running over to hug all of us too. My grandma actually picked all of us up in a huge hug and lifted us all off the ground for a second. I still question that woman sometimes. The boarders came down after a few minutes of hugging and tackled us all. It was possibly the biggest group hug I had ever been in. No really. BEEN IN. I was in the center of the whole mess. Luckily they all let go before the lack of oxygen got to me.

I've gotta say, it all just felt... right. I felt like my family was complete. Everything just felt right. After a couple hours of heart-felt tears and hugs and kisses and my mom trying to make my hair even more unruly by petting me, I finally got to the question of why they didn't come back until NINE years later. It turns out on their way back to San Lorenzo, their plane had had a tiny hole in the gas tank that was leaking fuel the whole time they were in the air. So eventually they just up and ran out of fuel and crashed on some island. They had been stranded there the whole time, until some rich guy riding around in his boat 'discovered' the island and decided it would be a great place for a resort. When the construction guys came to begin working, they found my parents hard at work on breaking open a coconut.

Thanks to their survival skills, they survived the whole experience and were able to come home with the construction workers. When the rich guy found out he hadn't actually been the first to discover the island, he told my parents that if they ever wanted to come to the resort, everything would be free if they didn't claim the island from him. They had both refused his offer and told him that they had had quite enough of that island and that he could just take it. So now here we were, a family. I was so happy. I didn't think life could get any better after that. Well, at one point, I was right. How? Well, it all started in the sixth grade, I believe. Helga had come to school that day being really nice. I didn't get it. What had made her change? Well, I asked her and she just smiled at me and told me all about how her parents had started acting like parents after her big tantrum. I was really happy for her. After that point we started talking more often and after a little while I'd even call us friends.

She was definitely a lot different than before. She was still the old Helga in some regards, but she was a lot sweeter and seemed a lot less angry with the world... and me.

After about a month of hanging around with her... I started feeling... weird. I hadn't ever felt like it before. And yet, the feeling seemed so familiar. Like I had always felt it but never... FELT it. I'm not sure if that makes sense. I know I probably sound like a crazy person to you, but... I don't know. It honestly felt like I had always felt this way... but never wanted to? I don't know. I'm still not sure if I know. I think I might have felt like that for a while. I mean a LONG while. The whole thing was very confusing for me. But there was only one thing I knew for sure at that point...

I loved her.

Once I had come to the realization of my love for her, I... Well, I don't wanna say FORCED. But at times it did feel like I was pushing her to hang out with me more often and to just generally... like me. But who was I kidding here? She'd never love me back! I mean, PLEASE! She spent the first... WHAT? TEN? YEAH, TEN YEARS OF HER LIFE ABSOLUTELY HATING ME! I felt awful after I realized that. She would never love me. So I started seeking out other girls to take my mind off of the sweet, funny, cute, intellig-... That's how my mind worked at the time. I just HAD to get her out of my head. So I searched for someone better than her. Someone better... Pfft, as if. Well, I had to. So I dated some girls. They were all only one date type of girls. I don't think Helga knew I was dating. I wasn't sure if I wanted her to know. I mean, the last thing I wanted to hear from her was, "Wow Arnold, I'm so happy you found a girl! Have a nice life." and then walk just walk away. I didn't need that at all. That would have only increased the heart-break.

After a while, I believe in the eighth grade, I finally gave up on finding someone to help me get over Helga. I concluded she was permanently cemented into my skull for life. Not a happy realization. But anyway, I went crawling back to Helga. We were still friends after all. Well, I _needed_ her to be more. She HAD to be MINE! So I hung out with her more. Trying my hardest to make her fall for me. I started dressing a lot better. Yup, I finally ditched the stinkin' green sweater. It wasn't the manliest thing to wear and I wasn't in chess club. So I started wearing my red and yellow plaid shirt only along with some dark jeans and my same old black sneakers. It wasn't the hottest look, but it was better than the sweater. So then I started trying to tame my unruly hair. That didn't work by any stretch of the imagination. Grrrrrrr... I was trying to woo the girl and my hair WASN'T cooperating! Whatever, I just prayed she thought it was hot, even if I didn't. After that I started ATTEMPTING to flirt with her. I complimented her a lot. But... she wasn't getting the message. My poor, dense little love. I was just happy I got taller than her. Gerald was always telling me that girls don't "Dig" short guys. I was only about three or four inches taller than her... but it would just have to do.

So we pretty much became best friends... STILL not what I wanted. I wanted more. I _needed_ her to be more to me. She still wasn't getting the message. So finally in the tenth grade, she came to school and my jaw dropped. I had always considered her pretty. But by tenth grade, puberty couldn't do ANYTHING else to possibly make her more... beautiful. I don't want to say HOT, she was, but it sounds too crude, and I'm entirely too much of a gentleman. Well, that's what Helga always told me. After a little while, I started realizing I wasn't the only guy interested in dating her, and she was always considering it! Luckily I was able to drag her away from most guys. BUT IT WASN'T FAIR! I loved her for her MIND! Her SOUL! Her SPIRIT! All those other jerks just liked her because she was "Sizzling hot even on a cold, cold day" or "So hot you could roast marshmellows on her breasts". COME ON! I would NEVER say such rude things about her. I was even driven to violence once in the locker room because one guy commented on her, saying she was massively "Hot", as usual, but then he said she was an easy lay and that he got her just last week! That was a LIE! Helga wouldn't do that! NEVER.

As soon as the words left his lips I... well, four words... Emergency Room (Him! Not me! Karate skills!), suspended, grounded. I didn't care! I had to shut him up. No one would dare say anything foul about her around me after that. Helga questioned me about it, said I wasn't the type to start fights, I nearly died! NO! No, no, no, not because of the fight! I was just really happy she thought so highly of me. But now I was in a tight spot. I was sure she still didn't love me! So I came up with the excuse that I couldn't let him talk about her like that because she was my best friend. That was partly true. I even said I would do the same for Gerald. Pfft, really? Gerald? Guys prefer to handle their own conflicts. I would have just told Gerald what the guy said and he would have gone down there himself and told them all that he didn't actually sleep with him and that he was NOT an easy... lay. Okay, I get that Gerald probably wouldn't have any problems like that... I hope.

But she bought it, said I was just about the sweetest guy out there and hugged me. I was in pure ecstasy! That was when IT started. Her, well... her upper regions (What?! I'm a gentleman! Helga told me so!), pressed up against my chest when she hugged me and... everything started to get pretty hot. She pulled away and kissed me on the cheek, then she just left. We were in my room. After she left I looked down and... heh. WHAT?! I'm a guy and she's an extremely sexy girl I'm in love with! I couldn't help it! I really wanted to grab her back to me and, at the very least, make out with her! But I couldn't! She'd think I was insane! She'd never talk to me again! And unlike those other guys' opinions, it just _wouldn't_ be worth losing her over. But anyway, that was when my sexual attraction to her officially blossomed. I had to start carrying an ice pack in my book bag to cool myself down any time I was around her and she was looking particularly... apealing. It worked, so that was good. I didn't want to scare her.

So not too long after, my worst nightmare began. She got a CRUSH on some stupid football player, with his nice hair, and expensive clothing, and so called "giving" and "generous" personality! I may not have played football, But I had a football-shaped head! And he may have had nice hair but I had... okay, he got me there. But he had fancy clothes, oh ho! But I had... Okay, point two for Mr. Give-till-it-hurts. Oh, I'll make it hurt for him! But I had the last one upper on him! I was majorly sweet! I'd never heard Helga go on and on about what a sweety-pie he was! HA!

But the point was, she liked him like him and not ME! I just wanted to bang my head into the lockers everytime she started one of her "monologues" about how great Mr. Perfect was. Grrrrrrrrrrr...But no! My nightmare didn't end there! Then the guy came over and asked her OUT! MY HELGA! Okay, so she wasn't "mine". But I was her best friend! I was the one who went off into lovey-dovey-dazes whenever I thought about her! Gerald nearly canned me one night! I had apparently gone on about her magnificense for an hour straight. Gerald had a huge tantrum about that. He made sure to keep any sort of poetry away from me at all times. He knew that would only start the whole thing up again. He told me once that he should have figured actual LOVE would get to me this bad. Just tiny crushes turned me into a bumbling idiot. So love just increased that ten-fold! He spent hours on the phone with me, yelling that I needed to just call her and then go off into my own little world about her _with_ her. I told him he was crazy. He told me I was a loon for letting it get this far. And the worse part was I couldn't complain with him about that! The whole thing was pretty stupid of me. I should have just asked her out, begged her to give me a chance. But I didn't. And now she had a date with her dream-boy!

I couldn't have them hug! Holding hands was definitely OUT! And if he even _tried_ to kiss her I'd be forced to rip off his head. I couldn't let any of that happen! So I got the location of their date from Gerald (He was dating Phoebe and I knew Helga probably told her where their date was going to be at), and I just "happened" to show up. What?! I couldn't have them enjoy the date! So naturally I tagged along. You see, along with 'majorly sweet' I'm also 'majorly annoying', Helga told me so.

So Helga asked me to go get some snacks with her and I happily agreed. Time spent with me was time spent away from Lover-boy. So... HA! But... curse my denseness. She pinned me up against a wall and demanded a reason as to why I was there. I panicked and tried my best to come up with an excuse. I told her I just felt like bowling, no dice, she didn't buy it. So then I told her I just LOVED the nachos here and just HAD to come get some. Nothing, she's too smart for my own good. So after a little while, she got really angry with me for trying to ruin her date. She was soooooooooooo furious with me. And dear Lord in Heaven, I don't think she realizes how sexy she looks when she's mad. It broke me, and I asked her if she was sure she wanted the truth. She told me "Doi." Adorable.

I had MEANT to tell her I was jealous and had feelings for her, but she was still looking at me in rage and irritation, which only made her look all the more apealing, and I didn't have my ice pack. My heart seemed to take over (Or was it what occupied my pants? Nah, I'm too sweet for that. Sticking with heart) and I grabbed her to me and kissed her with even more fervency than I thought I was capable of. My hands seemed to take a mind of their own too. I wasn't ME at that point. I was a love-blind fool. I had gone stark-raving MAD! I'm not sure how we got there, but the next thing I knew we were in a closet. With this knowledge I began undressing her with an urgency I wasn't quite sure was necessary, but couldn't seem to control. She didn't even get the pleasure of undressing me, I had already done that myself. I wasn't raping her! She had just as much control over the situation as me! Helga is strong, if she didn't want it she could have pushed me away easily! But she didn't! She kissed back! She embraced back! She groped back!

About in the middle of my hormone-love-drived rampage, I told her I loved her and begged her to be mine. She actually snorted at me! That was not the time to snort! Before I could be fully hurt by her action of snorting she told me she actually LOVED me back and that I was currently attacking her with my lips... and, this drove me wild... She said she was already MINE. I failed to see the sarcasm in her voice at the time, I was too dazed. After those words left her lips, I simpy continued my long time fantasy, only with even more fervor (If possible).

Once we finally exited the closet, her "date" was gone. She said she didn't care cause now she had ME! YES! So she asked me for a more clear explanation, and I told her my story. After that we got together. I wasn't EVER going to give her up! She was mine. My Helga. I made sure she wouldn't leave me by inviting her over to my house at night TO WATCH MOVIES ON MY COUCH... perverts. I wish... and I'd just cuddle with her and tell her how much I loved her.

We ended up attending the same college and shortly after we graduated I proposed. Like I said, I wasn't going to give her up. I wanted to seal the deal, so I bought a ring. She said yes, much to my delight and we had the wedding about a month or two later. She wanted to have it on the beach and I wasn't about to refuse her. So now we're on our honeymoon. I caught Helga writing a sort of autobiography, and as payback for catching and interrupting her, she commanded me to do the same. She said if I wanted to read hers then she had to have something of mine to read too. So... Hi love! I wrote it! Here's the end. So now if you'll excuse me, I have another Helga masterpiece to read! I can't wait to see what she wrote! But before I go, I have a quick shout out to Mr. Give-till-it-hurts... TAKE THAT! I MARRIED HER! NOT YOU! But no hard feelings... Have a nice life and I'm sure you'll find someone else. What? I'm sweet remember?! Helga told me so. Uh oh, Helga is yelling for the "Football head" to get done already. Heh, I better go. She may be sexy when she's mad, but she's also really TERRIFYING! GOTTA GO!

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**A/N: Well, ya'll wanted a sequel, and I wrote it. I hope it lived up to your expectations. If not... sorry. Helga is a lot more entertaining than Arnold. But I tried my hardest to give him some personality. I figured hangin' around with Helga might do that to ya. YAY! But it was fun! I totally enjoyed writing it. =D**

**REVIEW!!!**


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